Pa-Push It Real Good! (Not this week...)

Well, I have to admit - I fell off the training wagon for about a week or so. I blame stress. Of course, it's obvious: exercise is a great way to release and relieve stress, but, instead, I chose to curl up on my couch and watch the "Bachelorette" on Hulu.

So as of today, I've gotten through all of the "Bachelorette" episodes, I've processed and released some of the things that were causing me stress, and I've mustered up the energy to climb back on the wagon. And I wheel on....

So far this week I've been on a 2-hour walk through the Trinidad trails and I've been to a yoga class. And here's a realization I'd like to share:

During the right-side pigeon pose tonight, my yoga instructor said, "Deepen. Not by pushing or forcing it, but by releasing into it - becoming more receptive." This articulated something I've been drawn towards in my own training practice over the last few weeks. In my last yoga class two weeks ago, I practiced being where I was, which required me to back-off most of the time. And I found that by being where I was, I was actually more balanced, focused, and "alive" than the times when I try to muster through a pose. Today, I practiced the same kind of attention and I was more balanced than I've ever been. I was nervous about being "out of shape," but by really being honest with myself, I felt more strength, balance and flexibility in my poses than I've ever felt before....my downward dogs tonight felt effortless. I've never experienced that before.

And during my walk through the trails in Trinidad, I decided that I wouldn't set a goal for myself, as I have in the past (i.e. complete a specific path in a set amount of time), but allow my curiosity to guide me, so I wandered down one trail until I reached the end or was dissuaded by poison oak and then I'd turn and take a new trail. I discovered all kinds of beautiful spots. My favorite was a clearing on a cliffside that overlooked the expanse of College Cove. It was breathtaking! And then I'd play a bit - run along this trail, skip or jump along this one, focus on my breath on this one, release the desire to look down on that one. And then I took a constructive rest on the beach before heading home.

So this thing about deepening by becoming more receptive and releasing my impulse to force or push myself has, surprisingly, become a motivator for me. Joy bubbles up with this sense of childlike curiosity - discovering my limits, rather than pushing to find them.

I'm going to continue playing with this in an Alexanderly fashion. Allow this to inspire me throughout the week.